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Once in a while, I love to take a break from everything and go as far away from home as possible. I find that it clears my mind and I have time to reflect on many things. My preferred mode of transport is the train. Just looking out the window admiring the beautiful British landscape soothes me. When I am on the train I often confront many issues that I may have put on hold, this is because I am silently sitting by myself for a good 2 hours.

Last week as I travelled to my weekend hideout, I took the time to reflect on a few things that I thought I should share with you.

Being a pastor’s child comes with many responsibilities and challenges. Very often our lives play out in the public eye. Sometimes we are misquoted or judged whilst all we had were good intentions. For years, I felt like I was living my life on broadway or Westend stage. I had to perform for the harshest critics and a difficult crowd. In the mix of it all, I began to lose myself, I became this character that felt the need to please everyone at the expense of losing myself. It felt like I had hit the driest patch and it didn’t look like there was any hope of a storm coming to quench my thirst.

“I had failed on a public stage. It’s one thing to fail in private and it’s another to fail where everyone has an opinion about your life.”

Everything in my life looked gloomy at the time but there was still some light shining from where I had fallen. Throughout the process, I learnt that though I was on a public stage and it seemed like I had failed in the front row God was sitting and watching me. He told me how much he loved me and how much he had deposited in me. He was there encouraging me through his word. I started to believe what his word said. The holy spirit would counsel me and guide me in everything. I fell in love with Jesus more and more each day. He became my strength and I found myself rising up to walk in my God-given purpose.

On the second and third row were my family and friends they cheered me on. They spoke God’s word over me, they clapped and cheered so loud that the negativity from the rest of the auditorium could not be heard. They prayed me through it all.

Backstage I had an army of prayer warriors and mentors I never knew existed. All rooting for me to get up and try again. Mentors who pushed me towards my destiny. Mentors who have challenged, inspired, encouraged and motivated me.

Today I am on that stage but I am there with confidence knowing fully well who and whose I am. Understanding without a shadow of a doubt that he who began the great work within me is faithful to see it to completion.

Maybe you have failed whether publicly or in private it’s not the end of the world. You can still rise up. It is important that you know who is sitting in the front row while your life plays out. Not everyone will want to see you rise up but guess what a righteous man may fall 7 times but he still rises up. Pick yourself up, dust yourself, stick your head up high chest out and begin to walk confidently knowing whose you are….

“Don’t allow people’s opinions of you become your identity”

 

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